Eggy Bread From Hell

I’ve been to Hell and back. For real.

This weekend nine of us opted to spend a little time camping at Hell’s Gate National Park just outside of Nairobi. It is named such that it is supposedly hot as hell. The drive was about 5 hours, and it was dark and raining by the time we arrived at our campsite. As none of us packed sleeping bags or tents, we had to go for the little banda cabins.

These bandas actually turned out not to be sleeping quarters but spider houses with beds. These spiders were monstrous. A couple of them were the size of silver dollars and jumped. Ashley, Kate, Alan, and I were staying in one banda and so with Alan being the macho man of the group, he was elected to kill the first one we saw. When the sandal hit, the spider exploded, and Alan squealed like a school-girl. I’m not sure, but I think I about died from laughter. At Alan, not the spider exploding. Before we crawled into bed, we all checked our beds thoroughly, and got Alan to squeal for the second time by scaring him as he was intently looking for spiders under his bedsheets. At that time, Kate found the third and largest spider in the bathroom. We shoved Alan in to kill it, and he came screaming out for the third time. Spiders don’t bother me much, so to my objection, we slept with the light on to keep them away. A bunch of 23, 24, and 29 year-olds sleeping with the light on. Yep. Luckily around 1AM everyone was asleep so I crawled out of bed and shut the light off.

Unluckily enough, around 5AM, a hippo decided to wander his way up outside our banda. This actually made me glad I was in the spider house as hippos are very dangerous creatures. I don’t know what was going on out there, but he grunted and snorted and howled until 6AM. Needless to say, none of us in either bandas got any sleep, but we do have a good story to share now.

Our object for Saturday was a bike riding safari. This was absolutely fantastic and absolutely exhausting. After breakfast that morning, we picked up some bikes and biked the 2km to Hell’s Gate entrance. Given the altitude and that I haven’t rode bike for a while, I was exhausted already and dreading the rest of the day. It turned out to be the coolest thing. We literally rode our bikes around the savannah and right next to zebra, giraffe (which I learned are called “twiga”), warthogs, impala, ostrich, etc. The first part of the trip wasn’t too bad as we were so excited about everything we didn’t mind the workout. The huge, orange canyon walls loomed around us and the rising sun light made the setting so ideal. We had a guide biking with us that shared stories of how the Masai used to live here and the people that were murdered here (nice, right?).

The first leg of the bike ride ended at the actual gorge. We took about a 2 hour hike down into the gorge and hiked along the river through the canyon. The walls were impressively high around us and the pathway was pretty narrow at times. It was cool to imagine what it was like during the rainy season and filled with water. We timed ourselves pretty well to arrive in the dry season as the large amounts of quick sand they’re known for are not active. The hike was exhausting and hot as hell (haha). I got to show off my stellar hiking skills when I bit it a few times. There are also active hot springs in the gorge and at one point, we had to run through the river under a mini waterfall as the only way to pass it. Turns out the waterfall is actually a hot spring and we were pleasantly surprised. Hotness (LB).

Once we hauled ourselves out of the gorge, which took quite a bit of work, we had to bike ourselves back to our starting point. This was quite a feat as we were already tired, but my back tire brake was permanently on, and my chain kept falling off. That was the time I wished I hadn’t always had my dad fix my chain and I could do it myself. Eventually my guide got tired of fixing it for me and switched bikes. Of course that chain then fell off promptly, so I’m not sure what was up. The ride was SO bumpy that my bum was painfully sore. You could tell everyone else felt similarly as we were all half standing half sitting for the ride back. Overall I think we biked just under 20 miles and were relived to find our matatu waiting for us to take us to lunch. I ended up burning the tops of my hands…that’s never happened to me before.

Lunch was delicious overlooking Lake Naivasha with good conversation. We then went on to a smaller, saltwater lake to check out the huge array of flamingos. Those things stink so we didn’t stay long. The hippos also looked peeved so we didn’t stay too long. When we arrived back to our bandas, we were greeted by loads of monkeys around our banda, and they were trying to steal our stuff!! They only got away with a granola bar, but they sat at a safe distance to unwrap and eat it as if mocking us. One actually charged me and, I’m not going to lie, I ran. They were on our roof, in the trees, and all around outside trying to get in. We thought we could intimidate them, but they ended up intimidating us.

That night we had some dinner and played Uno outside. We had a lot of fun. Breakfast Sunday morning was followed by a boat ride across Lake Naivasha. This was really to get us to a wild life sanctuary, but it was quite thrilling in itself. We rode pretty close to some angry hippos, and enjoyed the cool breeze from the water. Our boat captain, Willis, also served as our guide on the walking safari we took. No sooner had we stepped off our boat, than five giraffe came strolling by. They are so ridiculously tall!

We took about a 2 hour hike around the sanctuary which included a 20 minute haul up a 70 degree incline. I didn’t think I’d ever make it to the top, and my legs were burning so bad. It was a good work out though and well worth the view of the lakes from up top. To one side was Lake Naivasha, and the other was Crater Lake. Crater Lake was so full of flamingos that the water looked pink from the distance. That’s a lot of birds. We then continued to hike down the “mountain” and found many more giraffe, zebra, baboons, gazelle, antebeast, and other animals. It is quite an experience to literally stand 10 feet from a wild giraffe. They’re so graceful and peaceful. No wonder they’re my favorite animals. I want to try and fit one in my suitcase to bring home, but I’m not sure it’s going to work out. Maybe I should stick with an acacia tree instead.

The boat ride back to mainland was felt amazing with the cool breeze after our intense hike. On the water, we stopped by a fisherman in the water catching fish with a net and his hands. I took a picture for my dad because I thought he might want to alter his fishing techniques when he hears how efficient they were. We bought some fish from them and Willis proceeded to whistle the shrillest noise. From far off, you could see these huge birds take flight – fish eagles. He then would toss the fish just outside of our boat and the eagles would swoop down and snatch the fish from the water right beside us! It was the coolest thing. You could hear how fast they were flying and see their feathers rippling in the wind and quick as lightening grab the fish with their claws (talons?). We got some National Geographic-esque shots so I’ll be sure to show those off later. I never realized how HUGE eagles are. Pretty impressive.

After docking, we loaded up for the long ride home. Half way, we crossed over the equator and got to take pictures with the sign that says “You are now passing the Equator. 0 degrees. Kenya.” Pretty neat. It’s nice to be home and sleep as my body is exhausted and can rest comfortably knowing giant spiders, hippos, and crazy monkeys aren’t looming just beside my head.

This weekend we’re going to Uganda so we’ll have more adventures to share…